mindflow calesthenics

the end of the road...

2011-06-14T16:38:00.001-07:00

I've been lacking inspiration lately for this blog. I know I said I wouldn't sell-out but I'm only human. You can find some of my posts reposted on Tumblr. I don't have time to keep up with two blogs and the conveniency of Tumblr on my phone has proven to be of greater use for the times I have a sudden brain fart and I'm on the road. Thank you for being so loyal in reading this blog.

Living up is letting go.

I'll see you on the other side...called "Tumblr."

let me be conceited and selfish for once.

2011-04-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

I...

...Cannot wait till I gather the enough strength to say enough is enough...with a lot of things.
...Hope that I will find someone who will love me for the sentiment of who I am.
...Am tired of helping reconstruct a person's self-image only to evoke a big ego.
...Wish that someone could put as much effort in me as I do to others.
...Don't understand why I always put myself in such a substantial amount of predicaments that I have no way out of.
...Deserve the world and more but can't seem to get myself to realize that I do deserve it.
...Have so much love to give that it hurts knowing that I only share this desire with a few.
...Look like I trust and have a lot of friends...but it's been best said that "looks are deceiving."
...Need someone to tell me and make me feel beautiful.
...Don't feel completely beautiful on the outside, but am confident with the in.
...Think in due time I will find that puzzle to my peace I call "love."
...Can only do so much in this life time and want someone to hold my hand and accomplish it with me.
...Need a man who will motivate me to strive for and never any less.
...Want to be with a person that I'm not scared of losing...who's eyes meet mine and can help me be the very definition of "I."

for random posts...

2011-04-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

I finally jumped on to the tumblrwagon. But it's more for inspirational-random-picture-quotes-re-blogging posts. Joyce on the daily. I'll still have this blog as my main escape to writer's diarrhea. Don't worry blogspot, I ain't selling you out. Anyway, check it out:

RANDOMOLOGY.

know your worth

2011-03-02T10:36:00.001-08:00

If he fails to recognize the beauty and value you hold; If he decides that the girl every man lusts for is way more significant than you; If he'd rather go for sex appeal than substance; If he seeks attention from every other girl besides you; If he thinks that innocent flirty texts to other girls consist of "let's get drunk and see where things go" or "I think you're beautiful"; If by the end of the day you're not one of the last things that cross his mind.

-- Walk away. He does not appreciate the lovely woman standing before him.

Because, someday, someone will realize your beauty and value you as their prized possession. Because someone, somewhere thinks that you are the most wondrous and alluring creation put on this earth. Because a woman with substance IS sexy. Because your attention should be the only one that matters. Because one day those won't be JUST innocent text messages and although other girls may be found attractive, his eyes should only see true beauty in you. Because when the sun sets and the moon rises he should know just how lucky he is to have a charasmatic, exquisite, breath-taking gem like you. Something so much more and incomparable to any other woman that has walked in and out of his life. A majestic and ageless gift to him, which is your unconditional love.

So, if he fails to acknowledge that and would rather live the "playboy" life...just leave. He was obviously not worth your time and you were evidently just a facade of a mature and blissful relationship that he could have had.

LGS

2011-02-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

No, it's not the brand LRG. No, I didn't mean LSG (Levert, Sweat, Gill)...although their single "My Body" was sexy enough to get any girl to drop her panties and do the body roll.

-- LGS, everybody has them. Girl OR Guy. Some more than others. With Valentines Day on our minds this could possibly be the most depressing yet most fitting post for the occasion. This term is an acronym developed by a friend and I, made to describe a feeling. A feeling that we all know too well and is frequently shared amongst us on romantic holidays such as today:

L - Lonely
G - Girl/Guy
S - Syndrome

For the days we just want to shit-kick the world, shut everyone off, and be alone. It's that emptiness in your chest on a rainy day. It's that pain-staked stab in the heart where your mind goes blank and leads to the next occurrences. It's that sting in your eye that can make any grown up cry. It's that numbness you feel after you think that your whole life is meaningless and broken. It's that punch in the gut, knocking the wind out of you, making it hard to breathe. It's that realization that you only have yourself in this harsh world, and that no guy, no girl, no friend and no relationship could ever fix that void that you feel.

I'm not going to sit here and whisper words of encouragement. I'm not going to deny that, that shit sucks. Cause, to be real honest, it does. What I can promise you is this: It'll happen again. You will deal with it now and every holiday spent alone. You will deal with it on your days off from work. You will deal with it when you're having the time of your life with your friends. You may not deal with it now, but you will deal with it years ahead from the present. And all you can really do is accept it. You don't need to embrace, you don't need to rectify why you feel the way you do. Just accept. And hope the next time you're feeling LGS that it won't be so frequent or so bad.

dedication to derek cardigan

2011-02-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

The term "fits like a glove" turned to "suited like a pair of eye glasses." You never would have thought so much about it a couple of years ago but eye glasses are now the new fad to fashion. It denotes who you are while benefitting you with, what my friends and I like to call, HD vision. This post is dedicated to a very good friend of mine. A man of such fine calibur with such keen sense in style, it does not cease to amaze me that he would create such structured, beautiful artwork for people to wear on a daily basis. I recently purchased TWO of his designer glasses and pushed the envelope a bit. Bringing back the cat-eye old 50's librarian look, I decided to get Derek Cardigan 7005 (wider frame in Black) and 7006 (smaller frame in Brown Tortoiseshell and Pink). They fit perfectly and I feel they define who I am. It's weird how an item of clothing or an accessory can make you feel more confident in yourself, almost like another puzzle to the piece you call "you."

To see all the styles that he's created visit ClearlyContacts.ca or click this link if you're just THAT lazy: Derek Cardigan

Thanks!

i'm on layaway...

2011-01-24T10:11:00.000-08:00

"Hey girl, are you single?"

...No, I'm on layaway.

What Does Layaway Mean?
A purchasing method that allows a consumer to put a product on hold by placing a deposit on the item. Layaway allows the customer to make smaller payments on the product until the purchase price is paid in full, rather than paying for the item with credit and adding interest to the cost. A layaway plan ensures that the chosen merchandise will be in stock and ready for pick-up when the final payment is made.
(Whaddup Google!!!)

So maybe, technically, I am single. I have no direct correlation nor do I "belong" to anyone. But let me use this term layaway correctly...For those who are willing to pay increments of their time in getting to know me. For those who understand that I am reserved, maybe even scared to fully reveal who I am, but are patient enough knowing that one day these walls will crack and break down. I am not here to test if you are worthy of being with ME...in fact, the only test or "accreditation check" is yourself. Are YOU able to take how ever long it takes to make me feel comfortable enough to let you into my life?

There are no added costs to getting to know me. I try to be as honest and vulnerable as I can be. Why settle for someone who is not willing to see you for who you are? Who doesn't accept the flaws in you, because you know and I know...nobody is perfect.

The biggest reward for me is feeling safe and secure; That at that pivotal moment (the final payment), I can trust that we're both equally and happily deserving of one another. When people purchase things they look at the quality of what they're buying. They look at the expense of the item, the necessity, the long-term value, and the significance of how this could benefit them. Why not take all of those considerations one step further and apply it to not just clothes, appliances, jewellery...and all those fancy things, but to love and life. After all, wouldn't you credit yourself to be the most valuable thing in this world?

There are no refunds. There are no exchange policies. Basically, I am on layaway for someone who can look at it all and in the end say, "she was worth every minute of it."

Addendum: I realize that this is my first post of 2011. Happy New Year to you folks who read my blog. Mainly my Facebook friend base and I've seen majority of you already...but still. :)

random thoughts as the day proceeds...

2010-12-20T10:29:00.000-08:00

My mind is whirling with thoughts. I want to jott them down and perhaps expand on these thoughts one day. But for now, here are the snippets.

10:05am -- It takes a grown person to cry and admit defeat. It takes an even stronger person to accept their defeats for what they are and still rise above any occasion.

10:32am -- Never let anyone test your character, make you feel incompetent as a daugher/son, sister/brother, friend, or lover. You know yourself better than anyone else and if you believe in what you feel or say, nothing and no one should matter.

the heart of the matter

2010-11-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

I wake up everyday asking the same question. About 99% of the time I get the same answer. Is it me not being able to accept defeat? Maybe. Am I making assumptions and could the real answer be the one I want? Possibly. Realistically, the plausible answer is not so realistic. The pain rides through the preferred outcome, making it more difficult in the end...than it really was intended to be. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the best thing to do overall. So I ask myself at the present time being, what am I doing here and how do I get myself out? The only profound answer that comes to mind is to turn from the contemplation and just walk away. And then I start questioning my actions...Is that the cowardice thing to do? Is there a better way to handle each situation more diligently? So in the end, I'm left in my despair to choose not to run away until I think of a better game plan. It's a battle between heart and mind, passion vs. substance...a constant internal feud that tends to render itself within humanity. An ongoing theme that resonates within the INDIVIDUAL and not with any animate or inanimate (for that matter) thing before them. I keep telling myself to let time run its course. Eventually, the answer becomes a lot clearer, right? WRONG...I find myself in a bigger shithole of questions that always lead me back to the same answer. This cycle has no end. When the answer is finally there, there will always be the "what if's" because in life you're never really satisfied. You always want to discover and explore the possibilities. You are your own maze with no finish. There never is a conclusion to the question. The battle of heart and mind never ends. Eventually you grow tired and learn to let it be...

**Addendum: It's funny how small little decisions open a can of worms and break through walls of hidden emotions you're trying to hide. I've been dealing with predicament after predicament with fam issues lately. More so closed issues that I constantly think about. Not open for discussion to people especially family. I wrote this piece after having a difficult time figuring out what shoes to wear. Ha! Go figure.

writings on MY wall...

2010-11-15T14:36:00.000-08:00

Often people will ask me what drives me to write about certain things. Some people would say that I have a passion for writing. But I don’t. It’s always been a forte of mine but I wouldn’t call it a hobby. Unlike people who live and breathe their music, fashion, and writing capabilities, I live and breathe for life itself. I’ve been through a variety of situations in the past six years out of high school that a lot can relate to, yet many have not. I have gone through the heartbreak. Love is a crazy feeling that makes you do things you would never in your wildest dreams ever imagine doing. When people refer to it being a rollercoaster, I think its understatement. No rollercoaster ride has ever left me so emotionally distraught before. And although the pain felt like there was no hope left, and that my heart could beat no longer…here I am today, with more love than anyone else could ever offer. I have gone through the loss of someone very important. It’s funny because you never really DO expect the little curveballs life throws at you. Never would I have imagined, nor anyone else for that matter, losing someone you love not through heartache, not through long distances, not through a failed friendship…but death, at such an early age. For the longest time, I’d pinch myself (literally!) to see if I somehow had fallen into a deep, inception-like, nightmare; however, reality sets in when you wake up and come to the realization that you’ll never get to share a summer’s day at the park singing out to your favorite tunes, you’ll never get an e-mail after many months of not talking just to see how you are, and you’ll never get to see, touch, or hear that person’s voice ever again. It’s a scary feeling because you never want to forget…even the smallest things…but you do. You go through your psychotic phase of trying to balance dreams, nightmares, and reality. A loved one passing away really fucks you up…In the end, there’s nothing more rewarding than being able to pick yourself up from the hugest obstacle you can over come, with a better understanding and appreciation of life itself.

…And this is where I go back to my so-called “passion” for writing. I’ll admit, I was a lot better before he left. Maybe because I always looked forward to his input with the content of my writing. It was as if I lived in my own little world and he was the only one who understood it…

I’ve only started writing again recently. But it’s not because I’m passionate about the subject matter that I relay. Neither am I here to impress you with the fancy words I conjure up or what Webster’s Thesaurus has to offer. Sure, a lot of people will think it’s cliché to say “I write for me and no one else,” and it may not have been fully true for me back then, but I do now. These are my ingenuous thoughts, not ingenious (there’s a difference…props to Jesse for seeing the play on play with words in a previous FB Status entry!), put into formations of sentences to paragraphs to blog. I am not always an open book. I don’t expect five star ratings or eProps or 10, 000 followers…If you can relate to me and I’ve done you some good…great! If I’ve wasted 15 minutes of your life…even better. This is me being completely honest with myself for the whole world to see. This is me letting everything go so that my mind can run freely in tangents. All boundaries are lost, all walls are shaken. I can openly admit, you will never see me at my truest and purest form other than what I write because this is when I’m the most vulnerable and real to even myself.

So thank you for reading…thank you for appreciating…thank you for relating…
In life, you learn more about yourself each and every day.
Just like taking notes in school, I’m just documenting mine.

random-dom-dom music post...

2010-11-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

Just got home. Had a good night. Foundation. Wired on coffee. Let's go...

Cypress Hill feat. Erick Sermon, MC Either, Redman - Throw Ya Hands In The Air
Album: The Temple of Boom (1995)

The Roots - Clones
Album: Illadelph Halflife (1996)

Digable Planets - Nickel Bags
Album: Reachin' (A New Refutation of Time and Space) (1993)

A Tribe Called Quest - 1nce Again
Album: Beats, Rhymes And Life (1996)

Foxy Brown Feat. Method Man - Ill Na Na
Album: Ill Na Na (1996)

EPMD Feat. K-Solo & Redman - The Head Banger
Album: Business Never Personal (1992)

Can't think. Good night.

slow jam them monday blues...

2010-10-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

Everybody hates Mondays. Not a lot of people like the accompaniment of rain. But when you live in a city like Vancouver you're most likely going to run into both at the same time. Sucks to say, I really wish I was at work right now to keep my mind from running on tangents...but along with it being Monday and along with it raining...I'm sick. What's more perfect for a sick day like this? Slow jams. My favorite. I used to help a friend with his blog on this genre specifically, but have since run dry with music posts. Slow jams are for the faint at heart, for the ones in love, for the ones who are broken, and for the ones feeling sexy. It's versatility in bringing up emotions is what, I think, makes it one of the most popular genres out there. Ultimately it's the lyrics that make a listener relate. Everyone feels love, lost, and longing(take that in whatever way you want it). And so, without further ado, this post is for all of you...

Soul For Real - If Only You Knew
Album: Candy Rain 1995

Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again
Album: As I Am 2007

Janet Jackson - Everytime
Album: The Velvet Rope 1997

Brian McKnight - Could
Album: Anytime 1997

Ralph Tresvant - Do What I Gotta Do
Album: Sensitivity 1990

R.L. - Good Man
Album: RL:ements 2002

Jodeci -Lately
Album: MTV Unplugged 1993

Mariah Carey - Underneath the Stars
Album: Daydream 1995

Javier - October Sky
Album: Javier 2003

BoyzIIMen - Doin' Just Fine
Album: Evolution 1997

Mint Condition - What Kind of Man Would I Be
Album: Definition of a Band 1996

Tamia - You Put A Move On My Heart
Album: Tamia 1995

Jo Jo - Do Whatcha Gotta Do
Album: The High Road 2006

SWV - Rain
Album: Release Some Tension 1997

Enjoy the rain...

falling in fall...

2010-09-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

Heavy heart...hard to breathe. Mixed emotions running through me. Want to cry...fall asleep but this pain won't let me be. "Please stop thinking." "Just relax!" "Give her time and soon it'll pass." A reason to smile, or even a laugh...I'd do anything to get that back.

*Maybe I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or maybe I'm just exhausted from all the work I've had this week. For some reason I can't shake that tormented gut feeling you get when your eyes start to well up and you cry. I know I'm missing him...missing him a lot lately. I have optimism that just like the other times, this will pass. But for now, let me be...*

these are my confessions...

2010-09-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not drop dead gorgeous or the envy of all women and married men in the room. I don't have the sexy body of a Maxim model with curves all in the right places...I think I'm cute, but there's more to me than what meets the eye that suffice to the "lack of" whatever I'm lacking. There's been theory into why men love bitches and I'm not here to prove them wrong; for the most part, I think men really do strive on the challenge. But I'm not here to waste anybody's time. I'm not here to play the "hard to get" game and perhaps that's why I've been single for a while now. I refuse to alter who I am for the very reason that I love being vulnerable to falling in love. I'm sorry if I like catering to people's needs but that's what makes me happy in life. I come across the ones that take advantage but I still give them the benefit of the doubt to prove me...no, to prove everyone else wrong. Why? For this simple fact: No matter how hard a person plays "the game" in the end they always want the same thing...to love unconditionally and to get that same feeling in return. Excuse me if I am brutally honest with how I feel but it's only because I care. Not many can say they have true friends out there but I've been blessed enough to say that I do. If I say you're an idiot it's because you're making a fool of what I think you really are and I know you're better than that. If I say you're being a bitch it's because I know you don't have the heart to be THAT cruel. If I say that I love you it's not because I want you to take my heart and run away with it...it's because I want to share it...with you. I apologize if I'm ever jealous or envious, it's the humane part of me that I unfortunately can't control. It just means that you have an amazing quality in you that I wish I had for myself OR I feel that I'm not up to par with what I think you deserve. I think everyone deserves the best but I'm learning not everyone is and I should be fine with that. I'm sorry I'm not your average girl...and no, I'm not going to boast about how incredibly nerdy or tomboy I am...I leave you to be the judge on that...I mean, I don't have excess baggage. I don't have the dramatics of a sappy sad love story to give you to make you feel sorry for me. I don't have the psycho ex boy friends who will come after you if you step a foot near me. In actuality, despite our differences and the reasons why we went our separate ways...all the exes were pretty nice. I'm sorry that you're not going to have to fight for my attention because I know what I want, if what I want is you, you already have my undivided attention. I guess it may not be exhilarating enough without the chase, but here I am, because I think we're both deserving of each other.

In the end, these apologies mean nothing because I never really was "sorry" for who I am. I am confident enough to say that these characteristics, morals, and values are what make me, me. Those who are presently in my life are my witnesses. I hold no barriers when it comes to them because I genuinely love each and every one of them.

Ultimately, I'm just like you...and you...AND you...a girl waiting to take another chance in love.

J. Lacsamana 09.10.2010

THE TRUTH?

2010-09-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

You never truly are who you say you are until you show it; and half of the time the things that you say you are never really were you. Fuck the Conformist, and just be. Finding acceptance within yourself is far more preeminent than finding acceptance from other people. Don't look anyone else in the eye but yourself, none of their morals or values are yours anyway...Tell me what do you really see?
- J. Lacsamana 09.01.2010

excuse if i AM stingy.

2010-08-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

WAKE UP CALL...and well, I could've written something in regards to this concept of being frugal with my feelings. It would probably be more personal that way. BUT after a friend of mine, Patricia, sent me this blog post a month back with the intentions as a follow-up to one of our "deep-running off tangents-what defines our lives" kind of conversations I came to the conclusion that this IS who I am when it comes to my morals and values or THAT aspect in life. Patricia got me spot on when she read this post and I would not have been able to describe it any other way...

STINGY written by Abigail

Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Stingy.

There are very few things in a relationship that I can guarantee. I remember someone asking me if I could ever give my boyfriend another chance if I caught him cheating on me, and while I didn't say yes I honestly couldn't say "NO," either. I just said, "I don't know." But about 2 things I do know for sure: 1) Once he blatantly puts his hands on me - IT'S OVER, and 2) I could NEVER knowingly be the "other woman".

They say never say never, but I just did. And it's not entirely because I think us females should stick together (although we should), or even because I got good morals (although I do). Real talk? I just don't like to share!

And this is for several reasons.

For one, I'm way too prideful for that shit. I refuse to let a man have the satisfaction of fucking both me and another chick at the same time. The fuck I look like giving him that good-good when someone else just did the same? I'm not the Queen of Kama Sutra but I believe every self-respecting woman should treat their body like it's a motherfucking wonderland and be shady on who they let go down the rabbit hole. In my opinion, you can have sex with more than one person at a time but still be selective.

Second, if I'm fucking you, most likely I'm affectionate with you, which means most likely I have feelings for you - even if just a little bit. And that's my biggest problem (or maybe to some, blessing). I am an emotional creature. I'm sorry, I can't help it. I have this stupid thing called a vagina. It's extremely hard for me to separate lust and like. I've tried, and it worked for about 2 days. It's not that I catch feelings easily, it's more like I ain't fucking with you unless I'm feeling you to begin with. And this is not good if the dude you are feeling ... is feeling all up on someone else.

I'll share my clothes, my shoes. My perfume, and my MAC fluidline. Give you my jacket and the last $20 in my wallet. MAYBE even the last bite of spicy shrimp and cheesy grits on my plate. I said maybe lol. But never my man. Call me old fashioned, call me boring, call me stingy. I'm stingy with my kisses, with my hugs, with my sex, and with my feelings. If I'm writing you cute 'lil messages on post it notes and sticking them on the tv for when you wake up after I'm gone, if I'm dropping you off lunch, if I bought you a gift for no reason other than to make you laugh when you open it, if I'm sending you pic texts of me making funny faces that I'd only let you see me making - I'm doing all these things only for you. I'm sure the chauvinistic pig in a man feels that there's more than enough of them to go around, but I'd want him to be stingy too.

'Cuz just as much as I don't want to be the other chick, I don't want to be the "main" either. I want to be the ONLY.

CLICK HERE to go to the original blog piece...

Also check out my friend, Pat's page...

PATRIZZLE

Thank you! :)

ode to r&bsides...

2010-08-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

consider the first time you fell in love...good feeling huh? now take that, mix it with a little bit of your ideal soulmate, and that steady reassurance that this could possibly be the person you spend the rest of your life with. nothing could feel more safe and secure than falling in love for the last time...

a prose.

2010-03-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

She sat at her dresser, looking at the motionless reflection that stood infront of her. She studied her long luscious locks of black hair, which fell like strands of fine ebony silk in such a way the old fashioned French could only describe as bien cuit or done to perfection. Her skin smooth to the touch, like a porcelain goddess there were no wrinkles visible to the naked eye, not even the tiniest ripple of age. Her luminous eyes could see through any man's soul, and her stares burned imprints of desire and lust into their brains making them weak and unhinged...Insanity! She smiled and it shone like genuine pearls incandescently lit by the sun's rays. She had everything, yet she had nothing. Her mirrored image was but a canvas of black and white. The absence of colors. There were no vibrant pigments to wrap her in blankets of warmth and tenderness. There were no hues of blue to cool her down on a hot summer's day.

She closed her eyes and felt herself fall into a trance. Her dream was a different world...a world of certainty and strength. A world of love and sensitivity. A world of union instead of divisibility. If she could dream forever, the life of intemperance would be in her hands. If she could dream forever, the existence of reality would be just a distant memory. If she could dream forever, the dictionary would lose its word called "purpose." The painter of dreams lived in her mind, body, and soul. She knew it was time to separate normality with divinity as she awoke. To dream, dream, dream. To lay in the lap of the painter...to entrust the keeper of the canvas. To dream a life worth living, is a dream she knew all too well. And so, she was the painter of reality and she was the painter of the norm. He was her painter in dreams to follow....and hand in hand they became one.

J. Lacsamana

C.R.E.A.M

2010-01-19T22:42:00.000-08:00

We are overruled by a corporate world. People in business suits throwing lawsuits. They plead injustice and are served with a big fat pay cheque as a reward; countless lies, countless victims, numerous accusations held with restrictions.

Music is art, art is creative freedom of expression; Yet these laws cause repression. Stamped with countless rules and jurisdictions. Music is a mosaic of familiar sounds and inspirations. These people are the Picassos, the Van Goghs, the Michael Angelos of our time painting the pictures of what our eyes do not see!

They pick and choose songs to sample from like how many make collages or scrapbooks. It's a representation of who they are, what they are about. A place where no rights should be involved, no boundaries, no business-tied accomplices should step foot in, and no judgement should take place.

Music should equal passion, not money. The mathematical equation does not add up at this point. The ability to influence someone so much that they would want to add you to their collage, their artwork, turn it around, and make it their own should be taken upon as flattery and not taken upon with legal action. It's a disappointing factor but the reality is, with the kind of society we now live in, even...
Cash...
Rules...
Everything...
Around...
MUSIC.

J. Lacsamana 11.19.2009

another year over, a new one's just begun.

2010-01-02T01:06:00.000-08:00

A Happy 2010 to all who read my blog. It's a clean new slate. Made for resolutions. Changes. Projects. Healthy life-style choices. I fall in the "none of the above category" for one particular reason. Evolution, goals...shouldn't have to start or depend on a New Year. It should be an on-going process that happens at the most sporadic time...with reason and realization as to what this particular task is benefiting you for, at that precise moment in your lifetime. Like this blog entry for example? Was really a means to showcase my snazzy nails that my sister-in-law did on my unproductive NYE bash, consisting of stuffing myself with mom's home-cooked food and sleeping for most of the night until Dick Clark came on TV. Now that's what I call, bringing in the New Year with a BANG...

IMO.LOL.WTF?!

Soon we'll be talking in a world filled with abbreviations...evolution of linguistics. Weeeeird.

This blog was completely random.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

"Where is my soul that I might play the music of my own life with such enthusiasm?"

2009-12-29T21:58:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Paulo Coelho's, "Veronika Decides To Die." Like many of his books, quotes of inspiration come to mind. It's about the social ties between 'madness' and what majority of the world perceive as 'normal.'

There's a chapter in the book in which one of the clinically insane characters comes to see Dr. Igor, the doctor who manages the asylum known as "Vilette." Her question is plain and simple..."Is she cured from insanity?" He goes into many stories of how things were invented in society, with no explanation to why they are of the norm or socially accepted now. Reading these following excerpts opened my eyes to a whole new perspective on life in this world and the confidence to accept my existence for who I am, whole-heartedly:

(This excerpt is after Dr. Igor enlists the comparisons and relations of prominent inventions, that we barely take notice of in our everyday lives, being considered the 'norm.')

"...Each human being is unique, each with their own qualities, instincts, forms of pleasure and desire for adventure. However, society always imposes on us a collective way of behaving, and people never stop to wonder why they should behave like that. They just accept it...Have you ever met anyone in your entire life who asked why the hands of a clock should go in one particular direction and not in the other?

If someone were to ask, the response they got would probably be: "You're mad." If they persisted, people would try to come up with a reason, but they'd soon change the subject, because there isn't a reason...

You're someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that, in my view, is a serious illness.

...If you force yourself to be the same as everyone else: it causes neuroses, psychoses, and paranoia. It's a distortion of nature, it goes against God's law, for in all the world's woods and forests, He did not create a single leaf the same as another. But you think it's mad to be different."

There is so much content in this book that I wish to share. If you want to know what I'm seeing in this book...a revelation, an epiphany, if that's what you want to call it, then READ IT!

What an AWEsome way to start this upcoming year...

dedication to the love of my life...

2009-07-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

My ears paint the picture of what my eyes cannot see. Layers of words in conversations become life's little symphonies. The keys on the piano are singing their melodies. The drums are dancing to the rhythm of their feet. The sound of trumpets in the air soar like fighter jets across the sea. The bass brings heart beat to every living tree. The guitar is strumming to nature's simplicities. And for a split second, I see everything so clearly. This art, this craft...created so beautifully. This passion, this interaction, this love affair between MUSIC and me.

J. Lacsamana 07.30.09

Every song that I hear - old or new, every new YouTube talent I find, every lyric that I read...inspires me. The gift of music is more so like a gift of friendship; something that I can relate with in all aspects, every spectrum of what is and what was in my life. (Cliche alert) The shoulder I lean on through rough times, the breath of fresh air whenever I encounter something new, the fuel to the flame when I'm in love, the appreciation I feel with everything and everyone I have, the motivation, the challenge, and the drive to strive and learn more about myself, the knot that ties generation after generation to the next etc... Everyone has a soundtrack to their lives. For all those artists who have made an impact in my life, I thank you. For those I have yet to encounter, I thank you in advance.

picture a difference

2009-07-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

Universal diversities lead to social complexities
And instead of making friends, we choose to make enemies.
It's the struggle that brings a person to their knees.
THE REAL STRUGGLE?
Those people working hard to provide for their families.

Down the street, derogatory remarks are being exchanged.
In the alley, some hopeless soul is shooting venomous liquid into his veins
To get fuckin' high out of his brain.
By-standers look at this guy like he's insane.
BUT THE REALITY IS...he does it to stop the pain.
It's our own negligence to blame.

Real eyes, realize the demise of this man's cries.
He is the sole example of those souls trapped, needing to be consoled
The most tragic story ever told.
He is the HUNGER, the ANGER that we choose to ignore.
He is the SADNESS, the MADNESS in which we close our doors.
He is the RICH, the YOUNG, the OLD, the POOR.
The REVOLUTIONIST, the ACTIVIST all in one core.
Everything that we choose to blindfold our minds to see.
Everything that if we worked to eliminate would set our souls free.
Everything that we deny ourselves to be.

But take a look around you and see,
just how many third worlds are dying of poverty.

THE ANSWER?
Starts with you and me.
Making dreams of UNITY, dreams of EQUALITY, into REALITY.

J. Lacsamana 07.08.09

never can say goodbye...to a legend

2009-06-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

(August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009)
I remember the first Michael Jackson video I saw wasn't any of his really popular ones. Growing up to influences like The Beatles in the household and my dad being a Paul McCartney fan, we were sitting in the living room and my dad had a video collection of all Paul's hits. It was then that I was introduced to this legend of talent and music...Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson's "Say, say, say." I remember asking my dad to play it again and again. Soon MJ's music became a staple sound at my home. Mom's favorite was "Ben"...Dad's was "Got To Be There"...My brother's was anything from the "Thriller" album. When MJ and Janet came out with the video "Scream" that became MY favorite. Three different generations, one artist, all the same love and respect for him. The world is at a MORTAL loss of a great legend, but his music will forever be IMMORTALIZED to this world. May you finally rest in the paradise you so eminently deserve, Sir Michael Jackson.

I chose to post this video up because the person who made this video did a REALLY good job capturing Michael Jackson at what seems to be his happiest times. As well as I remember him saying how this song was most relative and personal to him and his life. Enjoy!

blackout 2

2009-05-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

After much anticipation, Method Man and Redman finally released Blackout! 2 on May 19th. It's been 10 years since the last Blackout! Album was released and the expectations, for me anyway, were pretty up there. After seeing many comeback failures, *cough*Eminem*cough* I was reluctant on the outcome of Blackout! 2 BUT this album did not cease to fail. Definitely better than the solo projects they've embarked these past couple of years. Of course, like any movie or soundtrack or album, nothing's ever gonna be as good as the original...Y.O.U, Cereal Killer, Da Rockwilder!!!!!! Ohhhhh man...that track still plays at clubs till this day and people still go crazy. Needless to say, Method Man and Redman still got it going on with the new album. Showcasing to the world of hip hop what it's all about and serving them with that Wu-Tang flavor that we all nostalgically love and still enjoy. If I had the priviledge...and authority (hah!)...I'd put a "Joyce Recommends This" on every CD in all music stores across the world. Hahaha! But since that's humanly IMPOSSIBLE, this blog will have to do. Definitely one of the few refreshing albums of 2009.

fiendin' and jonesin'

2009-05-19T16:04:00.001-07:00

I'm currently typing from a coffee shop near my house called WAVES. I've been a regular here for the past two weeks accompanying my best friend, Christine, as she studies for her Nursing exam coming up. I have probably consumed about 10 cups of Iced Lattes, Dark Roast Coffee, Red Rooibos Tea. Caffeine has become a food staple and I get headaches when I don't get my fix. Pretty bad huh? I've gotten to the point where even the songs running through my head are about caffeinated food and beverages aka "Chocolate High" by Musiq Soulchild and India Arie. Hahaha! "You're my double caffeine dream, yeah..." pretty much sums up how I feel everytime I walk into this place. Nonetheless, the company and the talks have been awesome.

I spent most of the night yesterday watching videos on the Philosophy of Life and Death. The prof is a guy from Yale University, Shelly Kagan. It's a very broad topic and in a world where death can be torn between a society of acceptance and a society where the concept is frowned upon...there are many heated arguments with human development about the concept of life. The class challenges the students to think outside of the box in more realistic ways as opposed to the values and traditions that we often are exposed to. I'm not quite done watching all the videos or even grasping the ideations that this prof is putting on the table but so far it has been an interesting philosophy to follow. I'll keep y'all posted on that!

I still have much of the day to finish. I haven't been following NBA too much but I hear it's Game One between Lakers and Denver. Not jumping on any band wagons so I'll just ride the "whatever" train and watch for the heck of it.

Happy Tuesday!

QOD

2009-05-05T16:10:00.001-07:00

Every time truth comes we hate it, because it's coming against our ego. Are you going to let the ego come between you and this person you love? Lauryn Hill

I've had plenty of time in the past couple of days to reflect and think about life. Like a textbook received on that first day of class, I'm learning and discovering many new things about myself. I came across this quote and it made me realize the mistakes and struggles I've made in the past when it came to dealing with truth and love. Many people don't see how much these two go hand in hand with each other, or how ego can prevent these two from making a connection. I hope to take this new lesson learned and put my best foot forward in the next relationship I embark. Until then self-discovery will be a never-ending journey that I am willing to pursue.

it is sweet and most fitting...

2009-05-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

Wilfred Owen
Dulce Et Decorum Est
Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Pleasant and Beautiful Existence....before a Country's Morality...a lie. Came across this poem in an old histoire book of mine. It's very powerful isn't it? It signifies the realization that traditional values about war were altered by the first 'modern war.' In a world where countries are constantly at war with one another the rotten truth of human selfishness is inevitable. Why do we struggle to have so much control? So much power? and Why must we do the extreme to gain that power; knowing that there are detrimental consequences? I never could understand it. Yet there are times I want that self-control and power for myself...

eargasmic!!!

2009-04-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I can't contain it. I made a lot of posts on twitter about this one new found glory. Soooooooo dope. But I erased my twits because I didn't wanna blow up people's home pages. Decided to blog about him instead. Make it a bit more extensive, cuz talent like this deserves it! No excuses. Hands down...this guy is illy-genius! If you've heard of Nujabes and you love them then you're gonna love this dude. Samon Kawamura. The newest add to my selections. Enjoy!

And more to go with that...

Samon Kawamura - Timeless Space
Samon Kawamura - One and One
Samon Kawamura - Morioka Sunset
Samon Kawamura - Playground

Let your ears and mind do the work. He's been dubbed the "Madlib" of Japan. There is no doubt about that comparison. Enjoy people!

lazy sundays = good finds

2009-04-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

Just went on a linking rampage on Twitter. Always on that music tip! Forreal. Check my twitter below or go to www.twitter.com/deejoyce cuz I'm too lazy to repost the links here. Add me while you're at it. This post is gonna be a short one cuz I'm still going through some musical hunts and adventures. Status on the killer cold?! On my way to recovery! Thank you medication and a goodnight sleep....finally! Seatown Saturdays on May 2nd with some homies. Something to look forward to throughout the week.

Okay maybe I'll post one video up. Lazy Sundays....it sure feels niiiiiiiice.

Urban Thermo Dynamics. VIBE TO IT!

battle of the viruses

2009-04-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

So I failed miserably at getting better. Ended up going to Ebisu (Fancy Japanese Resto with lots of drinks and yummy food...for those who don't know!) last night and had some sake shots. Whoever said it was a good idea messed me up BIG time. (Thanks Christian and Rowe!)

Adlib and Bless-ed spinning at after hours tonight at Box Studios. I'm missing out on some good Old School Hip Hop and R&B tracks tonight. WOMP WOMP! Good thing is I get to catch up on the talent on the Apollo tonight.

I had a huge post coming up but some elements are still in the mixing lab and with my mind in the gutter from all this sneezing and wheezing? I think I'd rather let it pass until I'm 110% better. On another note, added TWO things to my remedy list!

BACTERIA BITCHES...meet BUCKLEY'S! You know that shit tastes awful but it works like a charm. AND meet NYQUIL! K.O.'in bitches till sunrise! Woop Woop! I can get a good night sleep. PLUS me being a homebody tonight. Now if this stuff doesn't place me in a better state by tomorrow I'll be out of options. Suggestions are welcomed! ;)

ROUND TWO! FIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT.

RE-EDIT 10:21PM PACIFIC TIME.
Saturday night beat treats for all the cool kids staying in. Enjoy! ;)

ill doesn't ALWAYS mean you're cool

2009-04-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm feeling sick and restless. Not a REAL homebody, so staying home has proven time and time again to be a difficult task. With Rosa coming over though...and Fridays being the normal MARJ nights, I doubt things will go as planned. Totally not feelin' the club vibe this week for sure though. I bought a bunch of things that hopefully will kick up this weak immune system of mine.

THE REMEDY
1. Plenty of pill poppin'...Advil is my best friend today!
2. Plenty of Vitamin C infusin'...That's where my Grapefruit and Strawberries come to play!
3. Plenty of warm fluids drinkin'...Orange Pekoe and Honey! Yepp.
4. Plenty of soup sippin'...Cup O' Noodles is what's on the menu tonight.
5. Plenty of nose blowin'...Bought some soft kleenex to wipe that funk riiiiiiight.
6. Plenty of bed restin'...Brewing up the next post as we speak.

Battle of the Virus ROUND ONE! FIIIIIIIGHT.
Eeeeeasy does it kids! I hope to drop kick this mu'fugga down by sunrise tomorrow.

Stay tuned...

'e' is for english

2009-04-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

Dug through the old files...aka my old English binder from high school. Came across a piece that reminded me of how young, liberated kids generate such unique ideas when projects are handed to them. This is an excerpt from an English project we did in Grade 12. The main objective was to translate a part of William Shakespeare's Ophelia into modern day English. The rest speaks for itself. Translations have been emphasized in BOLD.

To be or not to be; that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And, by opposing, end them.
Living large or 86 it? That’s got me wack:
How to best represent my own self:
When da Man’s in my lunch,
Go medieval on the candy-ass sucka,
And pop a cap in him?

To die, to sleep -
No more and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to – ‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished.
The big Chill –
No mo serious beatdown, no mo
Pretendas wantin’ to zero
Me out – that something sweet sweet
That you don’t be frontin’.

To, to sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil.
Must give us pause.
Stone Cold.
After mama done picked out my casket.
Will I be spinnin’ in my pine basket
When I have deceased existin
Whoa, that’s jammin my flow.
There it is.

There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’ opressors wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
Why you gets no luv,
Who gonna flip burgers at McD’s and drive the
Hoopty,
The scrub’s dissin, the slob man’s pissin
The shanks from ex-bitches, Five O draggin
You,

The pangs of disprized love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
Big Willy dissin you, an the snaps
From punk when you just want to be chillen

The patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a barebodkin? Who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat a weary life,
When you can just off yourself
With a saucy shiv? Why should you keep it real,
When you bad-trippin with all this shit rippin,
But for some horror-the-horror pop up after death,

But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
The undiscovered hood be a dead end
For all road dawgs, stump you ass,
So you chillin in your skanky hood
Not blazin off to some newjack hood?

Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
Soft you, now,
The fair Ophelia – Nymph in thy orisions
Be all my sins remembered.
I ain’t keepin it real,
And so all my bling-bling
Done got all greasy,
And all my mad phat plans
Done turned out sleezy
And they just runnin on fumes.
Ya knawmeanz,
Fly Ophelia! – Boo, when you give a shout out
Gots to have all my bad recognized.

We recited the lines in crew necks, chains, and bucket hats! Haha. How we translated and where we got the words from is far beyond my memory. Needless to say my group and I ACED our project with flying colors! But that's probably because our teacher didn't understand anything we were saying...she just liked our swagger. Yepp.

the canadian in me

2009-04-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Just got home from some PHO eats with Pops. It was a long and heart wrenching game but CANUCKS swept them BLUES off clean! Making it a 4-0 lead series. I haven't been this hockey-crazed since elementary! But daaaaaamn Burrows got my heart fluttering at 2980432819843 beats per second, and Luongo doing about 28 saves in one period?! Thank you Vancity! You made my night foreals. I hear the streets honking. Bring out the next muhhfuggaz who wanna get creamed!

On a side note...I've been on that KMD tip all day. I think I might have to make a playlist on the evolution of DOOM! Hahaha Keep ya posted on that!

Gonna try and stay in tomorrow. But I have a feeling I might flake out and end up at Tunnel as per usual. Will power please don't let me down? OH! Happy belated 420 y'all! Art Gallery was looking busy and the sun was shining. Smelled like that good ol' BC Budskeez. Po-Poskeez couldn't do jack about all the greens circulated. Hahaha good times!

Anyway gonna leave it off with a hilarious commercial homegirl found on YouTube. It reminded me of Tunnel, 1st Love promotions...$3 HighBalls and $4 HEINEKENS. Just watch these guys' facial expressions...gotta love it! Hahahaha!

Happy Tuesday night y'all!

eff-why-eye

2009-04-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

The name deejoyce derived from a nickname I got from a coworker, which eventually found itself to some of my friends. Another play on words...well abbreviations. We all know what DJ means right? Disc Jockey. There are other terms for it but I'd say that's the most used one. Then there's my love for music...but I haven't gotten to the point of being a DJ and am far from it. ANYWAY, DJ is associated to me as "drunken joyce." Not a proud name to live by...and no I'm not an alcoholic nor do I get rowdy or wild out when I am drunk...but it just stuck. Took it to the next level and plugged in the double ee's and my name. There ya have it! The histoire of my name. Fairly recent too.

On another smooth note...It is mothereffin' BEE-YOO-TEE-FUL in Vancity today! The sun is shining with a steady breezin'. Tonight's PHO night at the Tang Rezzie. Shoutouts to my BBG Rosa for her 24th Birthday today! She did that blowjob shot justice last night! It is also the debut of THECOOLESTGUYSEVERRR...Boombox Saints at The Wild Coyote tonight. Things should be hella interesting. Haven't shown face at that club in a while and am not sure what or who to expect to run into...but if I'm DJ then it should be all good.

Gonna hit up Downtown in a bit to drop the BFF off to St. Paul's cuz there's never any parking...then find her a dress for her 'prom'...that's right. She gradded from Nursing! Proud of you girrrrrrl! YAY!

I swear I'll have some interesting talks tomorrow. Thank you to those of you who tuned into my blog and enjoyed my music post. It was really fun making it. Time flies when you're having fun, right? Well happy Saturday folks! Keep it breezy! :)

life lessons - throwback to 2006

2009-04-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

Questions...Truth...

Why are we so overly impressed by and obsessed with objects and achievements of immense scale, when it is actually the tiny little things that, when put together, make big things possible? Why do we try to create our own little worlds so we have the illusion of being completely in control of our entire existence, when we know with absolute certainty that we are not? Why do we go on and on about individuality being the very essence of who we are, and then accept a degrading level of conformity in virtually every facet of our lives? Why do we get so hung up on what we don't agree on, when in fact it's our differences that make life interesting? Why do we feel drawn together as a species, yet we steadily build up defensive barriers around our innermost feelings and beliefs so we can never be truly close to anyone?

Life...Love..

Perhaps the confusion arises because life is not always what it seems to be. The only theme that resonates throughout the numerous popular life theories is love. Love, in all its fragile forms, is the one powerful, enduring force that brings real meaning to our everyday lives. Of course, I'm not talking about romantic, "kissy-kissy" love, although that is pretty powerful stuff in itself. [It's well documented that a broken heart feels far more painful than squeezing lemon juice over a deep paper cut.]

But the love I mean is the fire that burns inside us all, the inner warmth that prevents our soul from freezing in the winters of despair. It's the love of life itself. It's the voice that says "Celebrate life, be creative!" It brings with it the passion and understanding that some things in life are worth dying for, but there is so much more worth living for. It encourages us to greet each moment the same way we greet an old friend at the airport, to embrace opportunities to express ourselves in a way that makes us feel glad we exist. This love of life leads us to help others simply because it feels great to contribute to those around us.

Realization...

You know what? EVen if you make big ass mistakes, if you're wrong about almost everything, you'll still enjoy an amazing fun-filled life adventure, you will go to sleep at night knowing you gave your all and made a difference, and wake up each day looking forward to a future that is as beautiful and exciting as you can imagine. If you listen to your heart and use your head, you'll never go wrong...

Wake up to REALISM and TRUTH. You can either love me, or leave me alone.

confessions of a mad woman

2009-04-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

It's hard not to make assumptions in the world we live in. It's hard not knowing what feeling to feel. It's hard going through a cycle and not being able to prevent it from happening. Maybe I look at life in a broader spectrum, a means to get by and learn from things. After all that's what we're doing half of the time....learning.

What hurts can only make you stronger is what they tell you when you're upset, sad, depressed, mad, and all of the negative adjectives you can think of. In some cases it does make you stronger, but what if you can't break the cycle? The hurt someone feels escalates, people assure you that that powerful quote is true and someday it will happen, only to find out it's just a way to prolong the person's demise.

Expect the unexpected. Life is always full of surprises, good or bad. But to know that the "unexpected" has happened a million times before, and yet time and time again people allow themselves to be vulnerable to the consequences...crushes the value of this quote. (And it happens, trust me!) When they hold back from it all, others taunt and call it, "fear." It is not fear when a person knows their fateful outcome and does not want to take the chances. Yet others push and they shove, and they assure that everything is alright and when that fateful day appears, all they can say is...expect the unexpected.

Everything happens for a reason is a fake testimony to people's action. People make excuses, excuses, lies, excuses, false actions, excuses...and replace those judgments with the word "reason." It's like testing morality; what we should or should not do. I'm not saying mistakes can't be made, for often times, they do. I'm talking about the repetitive mistakes I'VE made...but I refuse to listen and excuses turn into lies, and lies turn into reasons...reasons of false hope.

To assume makes an ass out of u and me is an OVERstatement, that's right, an OVERstatement. When a person assumes, others over use this quote in order to override the situation this person is in. Others are so busy trying to make a person realize assumptions are wrong, and neglect the person's past history of events that they've been in...similar events. It is not because they want to assume, it is not because they are derived from negative thinking, it is not because of you or them or others or anything else. It is the image of what they see, think, feel and each time another person chooses to ignore that, it breaks what that person sees, thinks, feels into little pieces...leading them into even more isolation.....because of this assumption they fail to recognize a person's emotions, and focus on more of the terminology of the word.

Hopefully I'll realize, and other people will realize that there are more than these common quotes to live by. Hidden in a more deeper layer of a person's life, lies the truth to their actions, reasons, and thoughts.

P.S. - Oh God Beeej I miss you sooooooooooo much! :(

short but sweet

2009-04-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

it only takes a few words to make a sentence so powerful and meaningful. i bring to you a quote from yours truly on this fine sunny day in vancouver.

it's the type of love that makes your heart smile and your soul cry. it's a universal type of love for everything and everyone.

no matter what your passion is or who it is...it'll always generate around this feeling. in my eyes, this is what genuine love is. there ya go! two simple sentences with a preeminent connotation.

happy hump day of the week folks! :)

political retrospect

2009-04-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem a couple months after my friend passed away. I've been on a writer's block since then. Until I find my inspiration...Enjoy!

October 19, 2007

The subliminal aspiration for world unification is just imagination, a magical organization. And everyone's attention is drawn to mass destruction, TO WAR to racial abomination, TO WAR and deadly arbitrations. So where's the emancipation in this country that we call liberation. Is it right to kill a population who's trying to build a nation? Yet we hang our heads up high with pride and gratification when it's our very own pretension that causes our lack of contribution to a place of resolution, a heavenly disposition. It's the destitution of communication that leads to confusion and discrimination, then thoughts of infuriation, the final blow is an assassination...another of God's creations lost to an unfortunate situation, another victim for examination. It's a tragic ideation that our lives are up for instinction because of our separation of appreciation to other cultures and traditions. So tell me, is it worth all the contemplation? To draw to the same conclusion of the same underlying question...

Where's the vision in division?

Realization. The end of a war we call "The System."

J.Lacsamana

allow me to REINTRODUCE myself...

2009-04-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

My name is J...O to tha Y-C...E?! Ahhh yes, I finally jumped on the blogspot wagon. I dedicated many years to the Xanga world but when people started disappearing and moving on to bigger and better things like Blogspot I thought..."Fuckit" what's another site gonna do to this world of mine. So let me introduce who I am and what I am all about...

You can find my QUINTESSENTIALS for living to your right-hand side...or to your left if your back is facing the computer, but I doubt that.

The reason for this blog you ask?! I've noticed a lot of you guys have motives going on and themes to what your blog represents. So what does mine? Nothing really. Stuff going through my head that I felt like writing I guess...oh wait, I mean...blogging. I am also contributing to another blog... www.rnbsides.blogspot.com where you'll find yourself tuning into those laid back memories of when you used to kick it on the bed with your eyes closed singing along to them old school slow jams. Check it!

What's with the name?! Verbal (adj.): consisting of or expressed in words, concerned with words only. Calesthenics (noun): the art, practice, or a session of such exercises. It's a play on definitions, and it represents the art of exercising expressions in words. Because this is my own personal blog I feel that the unification of these two definitions most appropriately fit in to what I'm bringing to the table. A mere exercise of what I'm trying to express through good old technology (aka PC blogging yo!) rather than just social interaction.

YES, I am very into my music. Anything from R&B, Hip Hop, Jazz, Motown, Indie...currently trying to get my groove on to House and Electro but I haven't gotten myself there quite yet. So should you be expecting some music posts up?! MOST DEF! And I promise to keep it as fresh as possible. ;)

I am ALSO very into writing. I recently went through a writer's block with one of my close friend's passing away but I hope to get inspired and motivated again to do what I love best. Hopefully starting this blog will channel me to the right direction and you'll see samples of what I am capable of. I will be digging through my old school blogging days though and I'll post some old stuff up to.

So let the games begin. Now you know me! More blogs to come! ZEE YAH!